its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fuck appropriateness.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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