We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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