First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
