it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have fence marks all over my body
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
