Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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