So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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