Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize