Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
