Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
