Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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