True but thats because hes a fetus.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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