So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize