is wine microwaveable?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
