Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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