So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.