bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now