i permit you to call me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dignity is for republicans.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important