It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize