Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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