soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
