You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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