we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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