Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
