tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
