nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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