Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
