She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
