We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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