he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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