I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
