Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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