she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
