going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
