i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize