.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
