pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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