We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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