when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
