Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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