Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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