we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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