shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
