so explain again why im purple
no
Quick, to the slutcave!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
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I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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