so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
