I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
