i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
