I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
false alarm, still single
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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