yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
