It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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