We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
