Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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