i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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