explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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