I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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