She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
