Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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