I want to stick my p in your. b.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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