so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
