Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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